Every employer wants to hire the “perfect candidate.” That’s understandable. But Last week, I received two emails that made me want to poke my eyes out. They came from two different employers, but the content was essentially the same.
Both employers had sent me their OnlineJobs.ph job posts for review. Both wanted to hire the “perfect candidate.”
Both made a detailed list of skills/requirements/expectations.
Both were also so incredulous they made me laugh out loud. I’ll share one of the emails with you.
Exhibit A: (this is an actual job post):
Web Designer with Jaw-Dropping Skills and Internet marketing experience needed
- This person must have impeccable integrity- honest & naturally of good humor. You can’t be someone who lashes out and gets pissy or vengeful.
- This person must have studied the Fibonacci code, and its application be resoundingly obvious in their design portfolio.
- Currently I have two WordPress websites. The Payeezy plug in has not been properly configured. This must be resolved immediately, and a conversation with the Payeezy developer may be needed. Both sites must be functional asap.
- We have an app which will require attention as I continue to roll out products.
- I’m finishing editing my first book this month. You may need to work with the publisher to supply corporate branding items.
- If you can help me develop webinars because you have experience, I’d really appreciate it.
- I have an idea for an affiliate program. It’ll need to be built. printed marketing material developed.
- We need ClickFunnels/landing pages/sales pages built with corporate branding.
- I am studying how to construct the marketing strategy for these products, and create the most effective content, but I really don’t have a clue how to handle the technical side, so I prefer someone who has SUCCESSFUL experience with this.
- We will do Facebook Ads- You have to be on your game about this. I don’t mind paying an expert a commensurate salary, but if you have to study a lot to learn how to do this, the pay rate will be lower.
- I want somebody with a fantastic eye for design so that our feminine look and feel is balanced with the masculine and does not cause my print marketing material to become obsolete.
- Someone who is into spirituality and open minded is the best candidate.
Please look over my work before applying.
If you’re not excited about this being a good fit, then I don’t want to interview you.
We’re paying $200-$250/month
Soooo let me get this straight: you’re looking for:
- an incredible designer,
- programmer,
- writer,
- webmaster,
- an advertiser who is spiritual,
- Someone experienced in internet marketing, and
- A person who can run your business for you.
AND YOU WANT TO PAY THEM $200/MONTH?!?
Yeah….that’s IronMan.
You won’t find him on OnlineJobs.ph. Or anywhere else, for that matter. These people don’t exist.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re hiring locally or overseas:
Writers aren’t programmers.
Designers aren’t Facebook advertisers.
Video editors aren’t internet marketers.
And if they were, they sure as heck wouldn’t be working for you for $1.25/hr.
It’s entirely unrealistic to look for 3+ completely different skills in the same person.
It IS possible to find someone with experience in a couple of these skills, but NOBODY is an expert in all this stuff.
Are you guilty of the above offense? Have you tried to hire one person to operate an entire corporation on their first day?
If so, we need to revisit outsourcing 101.
Start simply. You CAN eventually replace yourself with a handful of Filipino virtual workers, but not if you skip the first step:
Identify the #1 idea you want to implement in your business. Then hire ONE Filipino worker to do that ONE thing.
Once your worker becomes an expert in that ONE task, you can train/guide them to perfect another job in their field of expertise. And another task, and another.
It’s a process, and it takes time.
So stop being ridiculous and hire ONE person to do ONE thing to begin.
Compensate your workers according to their experience and performance. Patiently teach and train your workers. Then hire more workers as needed.
You’re paying a fraction of what you’d pay a local worker. You can afford a copywriter AND a programmer for crying out loud.
And please don’t send me job posts that make me want to poke my eyes out.
Now post your job!
About John Jonas
John Jonas is a long-time outsourcing expert and the creator of OnlineJobs.ph.
Since 2005, John has taught hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs how to profitably delegate to VAs in the Philippines (and get their lives back in the process).
With help from his own VAs based in the Philippines, John has created an outsourcing empire that allows him to work 17 hours/week and to spend most of his time with his wife and 5 kids.
Find John at JohnJonas.com and Facebook.
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Preach on, John!! I work in business development for a virtual assistant company. I’ve had numerous conversations with prospective clients similar to the one above. I politely (most of the time) explain to them it is impossible to find them the person they are requesting for the budget they are proposing. Then I ask them if they could narrow it down to the 1 or 2 most important traits/behaviors they are seeking in a candidate, I would be more than happy to search for them and send them profiles. Otherwise they need to up their budget and then we can have a different conversation.
I’ve had 1 (out of 50+) of these prospective clients come around and become a long term customer. So in my experience, when an employer is looking for a superhero virtual asssistant and not willing to make exceptions to their demands, it’s a red flag that this person is insatiable. I tell them “Well I’d like to drive a Ferrari, but it doesn’t mean I ever will”. If they laugh, we keep talking. If they hang up, they saved me a lot of headaches.
Preach on, John!! I work in business development for a virtual assistant company. I’ve had numerous conversations with prospective clients similar to the one above. I politely (most of the time) explain to them it is impossible to find them the person they are requesting for the budget they are proposing. Then I ask them if they could narrow it down to the 1 or 2 most important traits/behaviors they are seeking in a candidate, I would be more than happy to search for them and send them profiles. Otherwise they need to up their budget and then we can have a different conversation.
I’ve had 1 (out of 50+) of these prospective clients come around and become a long term customer. So in my experience, when an employer is looking for a superhero virtual asssistant and not willing to make exceptions to their demands, it’s a red flag that this person is insatiable. I tell them “Well I’d like to drive a Ferrari, but it doesn’t mean I ever will”. If they laugh, we keep talking. If they hang up, they saved me a lot of headaches.
Nailed it! SMH
Finally, an article worth sharing. Not to mention those moronic clients who think every Filipino can survive at $3/hour. NO! Not all of us live in slums like the ones you see on international media. Some live in private subdivisions, condominiums and villages who’s monthly spendings are at least $1000/month. And guess what? These are the people who are more competent than the ones you hire at $3/hr.
And a eCommerce store at $300? HAHA you make me laugh.
I’m new to this website/service and have heard great things. It is unfortunate how people simply refuse to be considerate of the other person and lack basic common sense when hiring. This article was insightful and I hope you write more articles like this to bring to light some of the ridiculous requests people have.